Hard Corps Uprising Speed Run

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO FINISH THIS GAME ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!

Game has been giving me fits for a few years months. Hard Corps Uprising is a spiritual successor to the Contra series for those of you who didn't know.

This is a usual session of Hard Corps Uprising for your old friend Peasy.

I'm optimistic, my reflexes are sharper than ever. Cool as a fan in a polar vortex. I'm making Uprising my bitch today.

Making my way through without too much trouble.  So far so good.

 

A few cheap deaths (alleged) it's alright bro, don't panic. Situation's under control.

Finally, end level boss. I've got this motherfucker licked (said your mom.) Praise God for progress. Then quickly as Kanye can find a mirror, the game over screen sucks every ounce of life from my thumbs.

Not actual Hard Corps Uprising Game Over screen

FUCK THIS GAME!!!

But we know I'll be back. I've been married once, but I'm sure as hell no quitter.

Meanwhile Mecha Richter just glides through each level as so:

It's a hell of a display...and yes I'm jealous.