Whirlwinds...

Here I am, going through life's paces.  Business as usual.  The sun shines as it always does, passing light down to all who take it for granted (myself included.)  Suddenly, greys take dominion over the carolina hue of the sky.  Alarms ring loud and true.  Take cover, unless you're looking to be caught in a torrential downpour and swirling winds.  Sometimes, there is an aftermath of salvaging what's broken, or it can be nothing but a few broken tree branches.

Oh, if life's whirlwinds were that easy.  With technology today, weather can be tracked and an educated guess can be made.  High and low pressures, slipstreams etc. etc. Too bad those sciences can't be applied to warn you that a decision you are about to make will throw you for a loop.

You know that first move, declaration, emo outburst starts the rotation.  Then another and another.  God's eternal giant swing...twirls, twirls and twirls some more.  All you can do is hold on, and hope when you do land with a thud that you have some idea of what you want to do next....You're dizzy, disoriented and confused...welcome to life.

Do these whirlwinds ever stop?  Sure, if you decide to live the rest of your existence under a rock.  It's life, life's not fair, life will throw you curve balls, life will give you lemons and you'll have to make lemonade out them motherfuckers....

And I wouldn't have it any other way....

Peace.

How?

http://www.cltv.com/news/wgntv-gary-baby-shot-aug27,0,5791472.story

A Gary man fatally shot his 19-month-old daughter Thursday evening and then turned the gun on himself before he was supposed to hand the child over to relatives following visitation, police said. He survived.

Dead was Eboni Richardson, of the 500 block of South Vermillion Street in Gary, according to the Lake County coroner's office.

She was declared dead at 5:34 p.m. at Methodist Northlake Hospital in Gary following the shooting in a parking lot of a Bennigan's with an address of 500 E 5th Avenue in Gary.

The 20-year-old father survived the 5:20 p.m. shootings, which happened also near the U.S. Steel Yard ballpark in downtown Gary, and was being treated at a local hospital, said Gary police spokeswoman Gabrielle King.

Investigators expected to present evidence against the father to prosecutors Friday morning, King said.

The shootings had nothing to do with the ballpark, where a baseball game was played Thursday night, or with the Bennigan's nearby, King said.

"Just like, sometimes parents will pick a McDonald's or a police station to hand off their children, they chose this location," King said.

The father, who the Tribune is not naming because he has not been charged, had had the girl in his custody Thursday and was supposed to meet her mother at a designated drop-off point, King said.

When the father failed to show up, the mother called the father's brother, and the brother arranged to meet the father at the edge of the Bennigan's parking lot located near 4th Street and Virginia Avenue in Gary, King said.

The mother was on the Far West Side of Gary during the shooting, King said. Relatives told WGN-TV that the mother was finishing up school at the time the father agreed to meet.

When the brother and other family members arrived at the parking lot, instead of the father handing the girl over, he shot the girl and then himself in his black SUV, which was parked in the father northeast corner of the restaurant parking lot, King said.

It is unclear whether the family immediately realized the girl had been shot, but some family members took her in a purple Pontiac, and began to drive toward Methodist Northlake Campus, 600 Grant Street, while other family members drove the father to the hospital, King said.

The Pontiac broke down a few blocks away, at 4th Street and Monroe Avenue, and those in the SUV then stopped, put the baby in the SUV also and drove to Methodist Northlake, King said. The baby was pronounced dead there, she said.

The father is being treated at Methodist Northlake, and detectives expect to work through the night, interviewing witnesses, before presenting information to prosecutors in the morning, King said.

Copyright © 2009, WGN-TV, Chicago

I am angry.  No, angry is an understatement.  Livid isn't quite enough either.  Has the value of life depreciated that much?!  Most of all I am deeply saddened that another young black life and a black light has been extinguished.  Black man, you just murdered a piece of yourself!

Then I thought this cat must have had problems.  Deep unsettled problems.  I instantly thought of Jo Nubian's recent blog entry.... I'm going to link to it, but I'll quote it here for the lazy.

http://justjonubian.wordpress.com/2009/08/25/brothers-remove-your-masks

I am at a very interesting point in my adult life, where after some difficult relationships, I find myself becoming a bit embittered.  My bitterness is not directed towards the specific Black men that I have been involved with, or Black men as a collective actually, but more so at the conditions that are sabotaging Black men’s potential to lead healthy, normal, lives.

I mean we all watch them fall apart; the Stephen Marbury’s, the Michael Beasley’s. They appear to us broken, fragmented, and reaching for our hands. Our brothers, our beloved brothers, are dying; both figuratively and literally, physically and emotionally, from mental illnesses that we as a community, out of the fear of stigmatization, will not allow them to diagnose and treat.

Statistically speaking, Black and White men are believed to suffer from depression at a similar rate of 12%.  Of course this represented percentage includes diagnosed cases only, and as we acknowledge our community’s lagging acceptance of mental health issues, we recognize that the percentage is probably much higher.

Actually, I don’t know very many brothers who would not benefit immensely from psychological evaluations and subsequent therapy sessions (or sisters for that matter, but that is another blog for another day) .  I am a proponent of mental health screenings and counseling, and through all of my efforts, I have yet to convince any of the brothers I have tried to assist to admit their needs or seek the appropriate help.  So our men continue to mask, which according to Dubois we are exceptionally gifted at, trading their pain for fake gansterisms and unnecessary hardships or submerging themselves in drugs, alcohol and women to sedate or escape the pain.  Sitting by, idly watching them self destruct in our faces, must be akin to Africans watching their kinsmen being loaded onto slave ships. Somehow we know that we are witnessing tragedy, but in that moment we know not how to stop it.

I say this to you brothers… your pain does not escape my heart. I understand the complexity of trying to compete in a world that proclaims you should not even be allowed in the game.  I sympathize with your frustrations in being looked upon as some type of perfect example of masculinity, yet being emasculated every day of your life by your oppressor, and sometimes the woman that claims to love you.  I acknowledge your humanity and all of the bitter-sweetness that accompanies it.  You do not have to be “the man” for us; you can simply be “a man” for us- with flaws and heartaches and disappointments like everyone else.  And as I free you to be beautifully human, I only ask that you put your machismo aside to also acknowledge my need for tenderness and kindness, and free me in return.  Our captors say that we don’t know how to love ourselves or each other. Let us work to prove them wrong.

And as always I leave you with a beautiful quote from a beautiful Black man who also fought to have his humanity acknowledged…

Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. ~ James Baldwin

---

Take care everyone.

Leggo My Ego

The entry you are seeing now has preempted the previously private blog that I wrote a couple of days ago.  If you wanted to see it, chances are you'll see a Cubs World Series win before you set eyes on it.

Usually I write an entry, and I'm alright with it.  No matter how poorly written or how mundane the subject may be.  It's my blog and I'm not even over a thousand hits...it's a heaping helping of who really gives a fuck? (self depreciation for the win!)

Well friends, I'm going to talk about ego.  No not the Yonce song, calling that song thinly veiled is like calling Kobe an okay basketball player.  Quite the understatement.  Fired shots aside, the meat of this whole entry is about the ego.  The ego of the female.

I have no clue how you all's minds operate, and after what I have experienced in the past month or so I'm confused even more.

I'm convinced Pandora's Box has the secrets of male/female relations.  It's not rocket science, if it were there would be less rockets.

Now I haven't done a lot of research, my lab coat that makes me a scientist is in the cleaners.  My credibility is shot, so what write your own blog and fill it with your facts!  Facts have no place on the internet!

Sudden emotions that were unknown before, jealousy and hurt feelings.  Ego makes you somewhat irrational.  You had it didn't want it, someone else does now you're surprised and shocked that you don't have that #1 spot.  So close, but so far.  The game of life goes on only the pieces change positions.  The earth still rotates, even though we don't feel it.

I'm reading this and it's all over the place....I'll allow it (c) Mills Lane.