Sometimes...

A whole bunch of words, cliches and other phrases aren't needed to make a point.

It sometimes only takes a word or two, or even just a small gesture to make a powerful statement.

Magic...

Makes me believe there's a Santa Claus.

Yea...seriously.



fin.

For De Free!

Happy Friday everyone.

Just wanted to drop this quick entry before I forgot. It's a free mixtape by one of my favorite producers Khrysis. Mixed by DJ Rhettmatic. Enjoy.

Khrysis on the Boards with the Heat Vol. 2

Going to Waste

Why didn't someone warn me growing up that when I became an adult I would permanently have to put my dreams and desires on an ever growing ever present back burner?

Love is On My Mind

No this isn't going to be an entry about how I've been knocked on my ass by some new P.Y.T. that I met out and about. Truth be told, love is always something I ponder on once and again regularly. I just feel like blogging about it today, well because I can that's why.

I don't want to fall in love ever again. Now before you get the torches and pitchforks out let me explain. Falling in love sounds like something you might have to escape from eventually, or that it's unexpected and took you by surprise. Like you don't even have a choice as to who you become smitten with. Having been married once before, I refuse to let a person have that much power over me. Instead of love being used to build a stronger foundation, it was used to manipulate and tear me down. The damage was done, but the renovations that were necessary are awesome (you'll see.)

I always did my best to not walk around bitter. Maybe I wasn't, or I was just in denial. Fuck it I was bitter. I was lied to, stolen from and plain out used. It wears on you and I felt like I couldn't trust anyone anymore. Sure I was broken, but I didn't want to be all emo about it.



I'm ready to end this chapter and start fresh. New beginnings, new ideas from a new stronger mind and spirit. I've taken the event of the past years and learned from them instead of letting them leave me sullen and hopeless.

29 is still pretty damn young, I'm going to enjoy myself and let the ball bounce where it may. Who knows maybe you'll get lucky....I'm a catch dammit.

Maybe the next entry will be about videogames or some shit....I don't know.

I'm Drawing A Blank

I can think of a billion and one things I want/need to speak on and just as soon as I sit in front of my laptop...nothing...nothing...nothing. This is weak I tell you. Anyway I'm going to try and make it work for all three of you that read this.

The older I get, the less the holidays mean to me. No means am I Scroogin' it up out there, but it's like the magic is gone. Nigga I got bills and tis the season to be working so I have lights in the house. Maybe past Xmases experiences add to my visions of "meh" dancing around in my head. I know it will change once kids come into play. Now I'm just not feeling it.

Year in and year out you take December to remind and to reflect. To wonder why another year has passed and you feel like you haven't accomplished anything. Oh....that's just me? My bad. I have a terrible habit of giving my mistakes and failures too much say, instead of letting my successes motivate me. Me being too cautious has caused me to miss a lot of opportunities and it bound me to unhappiness and fear. Fuckalladat for real.

That's all I got for now....

It's About Nothing

This entry that is. It's kind of one of those impulse things, wing it for a spell.

My Nephew Needs His Ass Beat

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="274" caption="Yo, I'll Fuckin', I'll Fuckin'...."][/caption]

With a spiked bat by Raekwon the Chef. I swear it seems like that's the only way to get through to him. Yea I was a teenager too, but he's not using his brain at all.

Firstly, he's a freshman when he should be a sophomore (he flunked eight grade once) and failing all of his classes as I type this. Claims that every single one of his teachers is out to get him. Well, if you would come home do your homework instead of yapping your gums on the phone and memorizing every Weezy lyric teacher wouldn't have a reason to be on your ass.

Why has he been walking around in flip flops since September? He'd rather wear some Air Farce 1s or some Air Gorton's than just buy a fresh pair of kicks for the money his dad gave him. What makes it worse is he gave the money to someone who's uncle is the "shoeman" a few weeks ago. Still no sneaks, fake or otherwise.

I don't understand what it is he's trying to accomplish. Is he trying to be the worlds oldest freshman? Hell flunking once would be enough for me to learn that education is important. It's painful to watch him slowly throw opportunities away. I pray that he's not doing this just to be down. I'm sure when he's not around they're shitting on him for wearing flip flops and it's damn near October.

I'm almost content to say fuck it and let him fall on his own, but I can't...

Don't Don't Don't....

I'm alright with myself.

No I'm NOT alright with myself.

I'm alright with parts, but the rest I don't feel comfortable with. Nowhere near. I'm making moves to change those things, but maybe I'll feel this way no matter what I look like.

Maybe I need a consultant or something. Any volunteers?

On another note, some people should not have children:

Father says boy who shot self at Westfield Sportsman\'s Club had permission to use machine gun

Rules of Engagement

One of the first things I'm quick to admit about myself is that I'm overly cautious. This tip toeing has bled into everything I do. Some aspects aren't affected as much, other parts this blemish can been seen clear as day. Dealing with women especially, but mostly in approaching them.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret, my brain is always busy (surprise!) but that's not a good thing in this case it doesn't allow room for instinct. I feel like fucking Robocop: All this analysis and dumb ass rules.

The ill thing about it is I really don't have any sort or reasoning for these rules. I use being polite and considerate as an excuse, but it's bullshit. I'm just a pussy lol.

I'm learning to walk all over again. After years of being out of the wilderness that is being single. Rehab is going to be painful, there will be frustration no doubt. In the end I will be better than before. Without fear, without silly ass rules and reasonings.

I've had this song on repeat for the past two weeks.

\"Sweeter than You by The Foreign Exchange\"