My just turned teen son asked us to buy him a pair of J's the other day.
Me: "Do you know how much Jordan's cost?"
Him: "Nooooo..."
Me: "Most pairs start at $150"
Him: "OK....so can I you get me some.."
The boy was puzzled by my question. Of course I know he doesn't have money for hundred dollar sneakers. I have the entire parental cliche handbook at my disposal young buck (maniacal laughter.)
But the conversation does not end there as it would have with my parents.
At this point, I am going to troll him to the moon. So I inquire why he wants a pair of high performance(debatable) high quality(also debatable) sneakers when:
- You don't play basketball
- Hell you barely do anything athletic
- When I ask you to do your chores, you react as if I'm asking you to:
Him: "I don't know they just look cool."
Me:
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This isn't me adding a meme to make this post more lively. I actually Bruh'ed my fourteen year old son.
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It was at that time I had parental Deja Vu. Being in the Foot Locker with my parents and knowing good and damn well not to even look in the general direction of those high priced kicks. Feeling like Doug Christie at a strip club. At the same time, young Peasy is grateful that at the least I wasn't getting dem Velcros. Whether my mother and father knew it or not, they were cultivating my individuality by not creating another self important spoiled brat.
Getting
a child to just spit out what they want is like running laps and twenty
times as exhausting. The boy finally admits what I knew the minute he
opened his mouth, the boy who would not know Michael Jordan from Michael
Dukakis wants Mom and Dad to spend a grip because he wants to be cool.
(surprise!) According to the boy, his classmates consider brands such as
Puma, Reebok and Adidas to be cheap. I reaffirmed the boy that once
again you do not listen to morons, nor do you follow them. Besides,
you're in a size thirteen and growing. I might as well burn the money
then proceed to piss it out.
The Jumpman logo has soared for decades, but he can cop his first pair when those W-4 retros drop.
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